Deaf people are not ghosts
Posted on December 15th, 2006
I hate it when… if I’m with someone, and I go up to, say, a store counter, and try to communicate with the clerk standing on the other side of the counter. Familiar with the scenario? Happens all the time, right? Well, because I’m deaf, the clerk is caught off-guard. Understandably.
Here’s the killer: because I’m with someone else, the clerk will almost automatically look to the other person blankly and ask if he or she can speak. I wouldn’t normally give a shit, but it never happens when I’m traveling overseas. I’m regarded and respected as a person.
Should I slam American hearing people’s closed-mindedness? Looks like I should. Do you have a similar experience both here at home and away?
Filed under: Etc
That happens to me all the time, I mean.. ALL THE FUCKING TIME! Only in America, not in Canada, Mexico and France - where I’ve traveled to in the past. And yes, these ignorant hearing Americans should get their closed-mindedness slammed so hard that their teeth would fall out.
Again, thanks for sharing another aggravating experience toward the utmost ignorant hearing people in America.
-Lejon
Yes, I experience that all the time!
However, the “same” places that I go to (ie local businesses and my kids’ schools) are getting better.
They would look at my kids and I said, “No, no - look at me. I’m the PARENT, not THEM.” I said this politely, of course.
They got the message.
But outside… psh. Always.
Only in America, you say? I’ve never been outside of America - other than Canada but that was years ago, so I can’t remember.
I was told by my neighbor (who is spanish) and another friend that they don’t only do this with the deaf, but also with any other language speaking people.
They do ask for example, the spanish children to interpret for their parents who do not speak English.
One teacher thought and asked my youngest to join our parent conference to interpret. He’s frigging NINE YEARS OLD!!
I spoke to the teacher and she apologized. She said she did not think of it that way - just “thought it would be easier on both parties”.
At home? Hmm… hubby’s hearing and his friends would look at him and what does my hubby do, “Why are you looking at me if you’re talking to her?? GEEZ!” His friends feel small. Ha!
We just need to better educate the public!
#1…. Lejon
Sorry to disagree with you. This happen all over the world, not just in america. I would say “hearing people” in general. dont just accuse only in america. yes i know we have some people in america clueless about how to handle DEAF people. there are people out in world that does the same. I travel too and my last two was in China and Costa Rica, there some people who did what you describe.
To respond you ur comment yes we all Deafies had that experience and best way to handle this is to tell that idiot person to look at you or call manager that way it will look bad for the person who couldnt handle you.
that on opinion.
Yes, I have same kind of experiences that I have been travelling around the world. I wanted to share with you about the waiter. One of my friends is hearing had dinner together at the resturant. When we’re done with eating. I have been noticed that the waiter always give the check to hearing person instead of put it on middle of table. I hate it that. I feel like that I am treating like child. HUH.
Billy
I used to live in Jordan. Once me and a South African friend went to eat lunch at a resturant. Im hard of hearing and speak english and arabic. My friend didnt know any arabic at all. When we ordered the food, the waiter asked my friend what we wanted. My friend pointed to me to talk but the waiter wouldnt even notice my presence.
Stereotypes suck !
Oh, I have been there, too, and I hate it. In the USA a hearing American asks me if I could lipread. In defense of my intellgience, my hearing friend would turn her voice off and ask the moronic hearing American, “Can you lipread me?” Then the hearing American would turn and look around visibly intellectually insulted. Good! Then I would insult him more by gesturing that I would use my PP (pen and pad). I would write, “Can you read and write?”
More often than not would hearing people be unwilling to communicate via PP! I am telling you: Most hearing Americans are so monolingual or even semi-lingual. I have been travellingd around the world for a number of years, but never have I ever been asked by any hearing European if I could lipread. Yes, hearing Europeans gesutre to one another, so they do not have any problem communicating with deaf Europeans. No communciation barrier between a hearing Frenchman
and a deaf Italian. Post-Scriptum: a deaf of any country would have communication problem with people in Great Britian. Why? Simply because they are monolingual and perhaps xenophobic.
Jean Boutcher
Levine,
You’re right and honestly, I have nothing against your opinion. My previous comment may sound pretty harsh and I apologize for that kind of “behavior”.
I, personally, have nothing against the hearing community because I was raised in one. But, it’s just that it irritates me when I walk in a store with a buddy of mine or whoever comes with me and a sales clerc looks at the person next to me as if s/he thinks that person would be a solution.
Please pardon my previous comment… I didn’t mean to use the term, “ignorant,” thus using the term, “aggravation” is true.
-Lejon
Lejon,
apologized accept. I dont have anything against hearing, i even have hearing girlfriend. sometime we have problem with hearing people who are clueless. My gf and i often make bet during dinner to see if this waiter/waitress will depend on her or netural and often we see where they would put “check”. and if we predict right the loser has to pay the check. haha… but i truely do understand where u coming from. just that i hate it when people just accuse american for one thing and knowing that other place have the same issues. know what i am saying?? again thanks for apologized, not often you see people correct themself.
Levine
Levine,
Aha! “Hearing people who are clueless” is a better statement. My whole family is hearing and they’re not clueless about deafnesses. I’m grateful to pay my respect for any hearies who are not clueless. Even though, we the Deafies should also pay some respect for those who are. But we hardly do.
It’s unfortunate that the some of us, like myself, have one-track mind about this sort of issues and we don’t really want to have the intentions to jump to the conclusion. Hmm, that’s why I had to correct myself.
Frustrations, aggravations and irritations that we have in our community is certainly something we have common. Would you agree with me on that part, wouldn’t you?
Thanks for accepting my apology.
-Lejon
Similar to my situation but I reversal the scenic which it’s much more fun for me. You know, when someone approach to you and they start speaking to you… you gesture to them that you are Deaf. All of sudden, you can tell that they are saying “Oh, I am so sorry. Can you read my lips?” or whatever.
From now on, either they approach to me or I approach to them. I use American Sign Language quickly, “Hello. I have a question for you. Can you give me a direction?” or “I want a hamburger with cheese, bacon, and tomatoe. And… large size of water drink, please.”
That method much more successful because they would either grab a paper/pen or grab someone who know a sign. Once, I used ASL to a banker in other state and a banker respond back in ASL! That’s stunned me a little bit. It’s a great experience. And… I feel a less of frustration.
Oh, oh, I want to add one more story.
My friend and I went to a big clothing store in Mall. My friend needs a ladies’ room. I approach to a black lady in a haircut dept. I tapped a black lady, she turned and look at me. I quickly gesture a toilet chair, pulling down my pant, flushing, where?
My friend laughed at me that I’m stupid but turn out my friend gulped because a black lady respond me back with her own gesture: pull her real bra(!), point, point, there. I immediate understood her! A ladies’ room is nearby the bra section. Bless her!
And yes, both stories are in American. Wish you a best gesture! Drop that attitude “Can you read and write, huh?” It’s a bad vibe, imho.
Wow. I have heard about ur experience with hearing American people are not interesting or attention in DEAF. I already experience in my school. When the president of Utah School for the Deaf and Blind (USDB), I dont like when she use to speak and ENGLISH sign and some make up to use sign language that cause me confusing or whatever, fine I use pen and paper write to the president, she kept sign or speaking. I was like huh ok, I left. Another story- I went to field trip to Nutcraker theatre with my classmates and teachers. But that first went to the mall to eat lunch, I ate peanut sandwhich and I have some money to some eat the dessert. Went to McDonald I told to spanish woman “I want cookie” I tried to speak but I wether not suppose because my troat were hurt and i’m full deaf. I wrote the small paper it was said ” I want cookie with a heat” and the woman speak, I told her i’m deaf! she refuse to write back and she dont know what mean ‘heat’, that’s sad, right? Ok I pointed to the glass, have inside a cookies pecies and then i payed it. She can speak english well but she dont even write to back in my order. I think she might cannot read, I guess. I have a lot experience with hearing people, it was terrible.
Sometimes a single, elegant sign makes the connection. A waitress brought my friend a cup of black coffee. He waved her back, pointed at the cup, and signed MILK into the cup. She busted out giggling and brought it.
Deaf People Treated as Ghosts…
Angry Deaf Man Deaf shares an experience about shopping with a friend when the salesperson tends to look at the friend instead of him. I haven’t had the opportunity to travel much overseas and his comment about not having this……
Well, I think that there are a larger amount of rude ass deafies than hearing people. Is it the rest of the world’s fault that you’re disabled? Is it necessary to make special concessions on the behalf of haring people? I think not. Don’t be so bitter towards hearing people and maybe they’ll treat you better.
i hate deaf people!!!
death to the deaf
Well if Evolution was in play in todays world as it should be, it should be survival of the fittest, meaning that if you’re deaf you should have been eaten by a lion that you couldn’t hear coming at an early age and then we wouldn’t have to pretend that we care. If God wanted you to be able to use the phone, communicate with the rest of the world, then you’d be able to hear like the rest of us. I’m sick of rude deaf people who get pissed at the world and treat hearing people like shit, this is reverse discrimination. I have never mistreated a deaf person but why would a hearing person that knows no sign language want to talk to someone who makes gestures and retarded noises? Speaking directly to the hearing friend only makes sense, the hearing person you’re trying to communicate is uncomfortable with you and doesn’t care unless they have to because of their job and they have no choice. In my opinion, you should have been hit by a bus you couldn’t hear coming a long time ago, you are an Evolutionary blip, a mistake, an unfit set of characteristics that are supposed to be ELIMINATED by Evolution and survival of the fittest. Kiss my ass!
MJ - You’re ignorant. I can’t wait til something terrible happens to you. What goes around will come around. Now, go and fuck yourself!
An evolutionary blip? Nay! It is because OF evolution that deaf people as a people emerged in modern times. Deaf people have always been around, but THOSE deafies were the anomalies, the “evolutionary blip” spoke of in the previous comment. TODAY, we are not.
Evolutionary conditions were favorable for genetically evolved deafies (such as myself and many others who have the venerable connexin-26 gene, evolution’s answer to societial upheaval). With such a large population, conditions were right for those blips, anomalous deaf people to meet and breed, producing more deafies. Now, what makes us human? Intelligence. It was intelligence that enabled us humans to win the “survival of the fittest” game with other animals. Now, using the same logic, we deafies survive and persist in this day of the 21st century because of our innate human intelligence.
Now, because evolution ensured the emergence of deaf peoples, it is now time to ensure that we indeed have a purpose: to influence and shift the evolutionary pathway of humans.
If and when deafness is totally cured, we can go down fighting, or make it a two-way street. The hearing people DESPERATELY want to cure us because that would elevate their status to godly, at par with Jesus spitting in your ear and curing ur deafness with a chant.
Instead of fighting and actually resorting to terrorism (which I actually believe some deaf people will eventually do, down the road when they feel everything is futile) we can give sign language to the hearing people. Because babies learn language earlier using sign language (because their brain processes are primed for early visual development rather than hearing), the brains develop earlier and faster. That can be compounded on and passed on thru generations. Evolution at work!
If the WHOLE society did this, we would definitely see a evolutionary shift in humanity, an enlightement, an increase in intelligence. Aliens up there watching us from outer space would definitely be proud!
Hey Mike, I have never met “haring people”. What are they like? Can you post some more information so I can find out more about these “haring people? I sure would like to meet one of them.
I disagree that there are “a larger amount of rude ass deafies than hearing people”. There are just as many hearing people who are rude to deaf people as deaf people who are rude to hearing people.
Laurence, you’re a loser and an idiot. Either you are a pimply-faced teenager who wouldn’t know what to do if a woman sat on your face or you are a 32-year old pot-head living in your mom’s garage. Only a loser would spend time trying to piss people off. Please overdose on your mom’s pills.
Have any of you considered the possibility that, given you are with someone else, the probability of your companion being able to sign AND speak is increased, thus prompting the clerk to seek a translator to facilitate communication–which, I might add, is aligned with the overall goal of receiving assistance?
THAT HAPPEN TO ME ALL THE TIME EVERYTIME I TRY TO TALK TO THE HEARIN PEOPLE THEY LOOK AT ME LIKE IM DUMB AND WOULD ASK ME DO I HAVE SOMEBODY TO TALK 4 ME AND THAT JUST HURT HOW HEARIN PEOPLE DONT EVEN TRY TO LEARN SIGN 4 US BECAUSE WE HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO TALK 4 THEM
well yeah , I dont like hearing cunts either, not just because of ‘communications’ but also because of the vast differences in treating and actual access to wealth and oppurtunity as opposed to the amount of freedom hearing cunts gets. Like promotion is so obvious, but not just that but the whole span of complexity, of the hetreogenousiness of the possibilities in roles deaf people could take in a work sphere of life
they still treat you as stupid EVEN if IM a POST-Gradutate in a UNIVERSITY !!! un-fuck-believable!!
now that tells you hearing people are so damn shittingly stuck up with own petty goals like girls chasing rich jocks, guys chasing pretty models wannabe, its got worse now there even peole chasing for ’security’ like techno-freaks are the new rulers of the world, they even go for FUGLYS ones, but as long they are brainy with a connection for millions, wealth is even more important, intellect or hearts are now further down the list, so it puts me in the undesirable pile, fuck i hate the hearing cunts
Whenever my deaf friends tell me about how they think hearing are talking shit, I always tell them that it’s not their fault and that they don’t mean to offend….I always tell them that the hearing DON’t hate the deaf because I was only seeing it from my own point of view…As a hearing person, I have NO idea why ANYONE would hate someone based on the fact that they are deaf. Now I understand that there really are ASSHOLES like laurence and mj in the world.
Anyway, my point is this….Please be patient with us hearing. There apparently are some assholes in the world who simply refuse to understand that deafness is NOT a disability. But I can tell you this…Before I met any of my deaf friends, I may have acted in such a way that might have been perceived as rude by the deaf, simply because I didn’t know anything about the deaf community.
It breaks my heart that a person could hate me just because I am hearing, just like it probably hurts you that someone could hate you just because you are deaf. I know it gets annoying. Please don’t hate all of us…Just the ones who deserve it, and beleive me, I hate those people too!
dear god, nevev have i read such silly comments.being deaf I can almost agree with them for thinking we are stupid, are we so clever we never rise to their silly bait? don’t we ever think these people who are baiting us are the lowest of the low, why don’t we give the full hearing the respect we are asking from them<? to be treated as an individual, and not to be judged in a minority
I am doing a study on how deaf people feel about hearing people communicate with them. I am a late deafened person. I was so shocked while reading all these comments.
It just really saddened me to see the comments from both hearing people and deaf people. The main differnece between a hearing person and deaf person is one can hear and the other can’t, but we all have feelings.
The Bible says “do unto others as you would want them to do to you. If I want to be respected I need to respect others. If I am hurt by the way hearing people treat me, I can let them know but not in anger. A lot of hearing people are just not knowledgeable about deaf people. Maybe if we share about ourselves then they will learn to put away their prejudicesnesses.