July 31, 2007

The Greatest Irony - Parent’s Response

Filed under: Amy's Announcements, Amy's Blogs, Amy's Vlogs — abcohende @ 2:28 am

Please visit The Greatest Irony Website

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45 Responses to “The Greatest Irony - Parent’s Response”

  1. Ed Says:

    It’s nice that the parents are reaching out to the Deaf community. But, they still don’t get it. They implanted a child. *sigh*

  2. Julie Rems-Smario Says:

    AMEN!! This is the whole point! Reaching out to the parents, winning their minds and hearts by embracing them, showing them world full of wonderful possiblities with ASL, and cherishing deaf children together. KUDOS!

    Amy, you have my ongoing support for your Greatest Irony social awareness.

    Hands WAVING!

  3. IamMine Says:

    Wow!!!

    Jeanette!! You have so much to educate people out there!

    You are not the only one!

    You are really doing a terrific job and your fears are NORMAL! ;)

    Rest assured that there are people who welcome you and your son with open arms!! :)

    Wait a minute…welcome? That’s like saying “Ok, you can come in!”

    You are ALREADY there! :)

    I haven’t comment much lately, but I do enjoy your v/blogs with Ellis! :)

    Thank you for being brave and not hiding from us, but sharing with us!

    I join Julie Rems-Smario in handswaving! :)

  4. IamMine Says:

    Oh, forgot to thank you, Amy, for sharing this important conversation with us because it really shows other hearing parents that we are not trying to make them feel bad but rather COMMUNICATE with them and educate them - and vice versa! This is really important!!

    :)

  5. IamMine Says:

    Ok…I’m back again. Sorry, Amy!!

    Gotta tell Jeanette something else… your ASL is just FIIIINNNEE!!!!!

    You sign better than my hubby - that say a lot? We’ve been married for 14 years! Hehehehe!

    Please don’t tell him, though - I love that man too much!! :D ;)

    Like I said, you are not the only one but you are really doing a great terrific job! You’re giving him both worlds! (I’m not implying it’s “one” world for the deaf people at all because they CAN interact with both worlds, but your spoken language and ASL)

    Now, some deaf people may strongly disagree with you but it’s YOUR life and YOUR son. It does SHOW you DO care about him and want to give him everything that’s out there for him and making the best out of them!

    I think they would be happy to know that you do embrace and care about the deaf culture and ASL!

    Ok, I’ll hush up now! :D

  6. Judge Says:

    Handswaving!! Wow! Please please do us a great favor by educating them!

    Thank you for sharing with us!

  7. White Ghost Says:

    Dear Jeanette,

    Wow!

    You and your hubby have chosen the right path
    for what the best for your son, Ellis.

    It is okay for Ellis to obtain his CI, as long as, he CAN sign language.

    Ellis will earn to become the self-enrichment from his parents, school and friends. You and your hubby have shown Ellis that he is accepted for who he is.

    I have been married to my hearing hubby for 15 years and Jeanette, your sign is MUCH better than him! :-) IamMine, we’re the same boat, oh well….

    Women do sign better than men? How odd…..he, he, he!;-)

    Anyway, Jeanette, we embrace you and your family, welcome to the new deaf world, of course, we want you guys to stay on the course in the hearing world. Please don’t change your way, just learn from all of us, the deaf culture and world. Our “deaf” door is now opening for you and your family.

    The key is “just learning from all of us!”

    White Ghost

  8. Richard Roehm Says:

    I’m gonna toss you ASL’ers a free bone. Giving you guys this major freebie puts me at the risk of losing some grants.

    Instead of making angry videos and angry blogs on the AGB issues, why dont you develop a brochure to educate pregnant women of the ASL’s options in case their baby is found deaf. The parents, not the bigwig organizations, are the ones you should be going after.

    Title the brochure

    “In Case Your Baby Is Deaf”

    or something like that and fill it with information about ASL, good news about ASL, successful people that grew up with ASL, and show them where they can obtain videos on teaching babies ASL. And distribute these to hospitals, fertility clinics, doctor’s offices, and parenting conferences and bridal expos.

    If you guys can do that, then you can really make the positive impact you need without having to risk yourselves the rancorous experience you had to face last weekend.

  9. IamMine Says:

    You know, Richard - you are funny!

    Here’s a freebie that puts *me* at risk losing the patent and making tons of money and re-invest back in the Deaf Community!

    Why don’t YOU do that with what all the resources you already have and gosh, maybe Deaf people would actually support you! ;)

    White Ghost - chuckling along with you! ;)

  10. Nick Vera Says:

    Amy,

    I am very pleased to know your invitation of the hearing parents of deaf child (Ellis) to share their perspectives and experience. It was very delighted to hear Jeannette’s story to tell us.
    That would be fine as long as her son receives CI and learn ASL at the same time. That will develop early language and potentially learn auditory verbal therapy that way he can transform himself to speak in voices with hearing people and uses ASL directly with deaf and hard of hearing people through the balance of life like time management in order. The most important thing is to learn ASL at early education before learn to speak. I personally believe Ellis will increase his self-esteem when he is around his family and deaf community.
    I would like to see more of this story to inspire to other hearing parents of deaf children.
    Thank you, Amy for sharing your “Award-Winning Vlog” to educate everyone in the United States and International.

    Take care,

    Nick

    P.S. My hearing mother is an ASL interpreter for Antelope Valley College in Lancaster, California and passed RID writing for certificate. Now, she continue to study in sign language verison into videotape for RID in order to pass certificate.

  11. Karen Says:

    It takes a lot of courage for parents to explore choices so frankly and this open, honest dialogue seems to have gone a long way for this family. :)

  12. 1234k Says:

    Amy,

    I got goose bumps when I read this message from Jeanette… That is exactly what we are fighting for!! Sign language is a MUST for any deaf baby!! Then afterward, he or she can learn the skills of speech, lipreading, and listening… Comforting zone is a MUST!

    Thanks for sharing this.

    deafk

  13. Dianrez Says:

    Admittedly, I am still a skeptic when it comes to cochlear implants but also recognize that it is currently popular and it may be another generation or two before a better alternative comes along.

    Don’t worry, there are so many Deaf with CI’s that they are accepted now in the deaf community. Ellis won’t be rejected, and neither will you once the community recognizes that you have adopted ASL and Deaf culture out of genuine interest and curiosity.

    We love signing parents and wish that we grew up with them. They are counted among our best friends and we are interested in their candid observations, opinions and remarks on both our community and the Hearing community. Their insights give us valuable information.

    Come up and have coffee with me sometime!

  14. deafchipmunk Says:

    Hi there

    I am very pleased with Jeannette’s view on her own son. She wants the best for both of worlds for her own son. That impresses me very much. E is very fortunate.

    People with cochlear implant(s) are common and will not be rejected. My closest friends have cochlear implants anyway and they have involved in Deaf culture. Remember people with cochlear implants are ALWAYS Deaf.They have power to turn it on and off.

    Deafchip

  15. ASLisRisen Says:

    Hi Jeannette!

    Wow I wish you are mom because you want to communicate ASL. I know that there are few hearing moms who already know how to use ASL! I sometimes felt heartbroken to noticed some Deaf children who got so frustrated with their parents who do not know how to use ASL. Some parents did told me that they do not have time go to class because they have to go work and taking care of home with their other kids. They do not want to pay for ASL class. There’s one Special School District offers one hour per week class at night. That is something that we need to think about how to expose more ASL to fit the parent’s working schedule.

    Good job, Jeannette! Shawn

  16. PMRjr Says:

    Wow…………..(with my wet eyes)

    Jeanette signs much BETTER than my late parents!!!! (of course, I still loved them as they did try their best for my need as I grew up in my mainstreamed school in Miami, FL.) I am VERY impressed on what she is doing her best for her son, Ellis..

    I believe that any blog/vlog is a key for any parent can find and understand about our Deaf culture that they can find us very easy..

    I hope that today’s internet is the best resource that any parent of the deaf child could have received more information on the Deaf education than 20 years ago!

    (Still wave my hands!)

    PMRjr

  17. White Ghost Says:

    Funny, I realized that “Ellis Island” is a symbol of the freedom in honor of the statue of liberty.

    So, Ellis’ parents have made the choice for what’s the best for her son, Ellis. Therefore, they have made the freedom of their choices.

    As a result, AG Bell lived here in America and tried to control people to ban many people’s lives. They STILL are! AG Bell and the AVT group DID not follow the freedom of speech in this soil.

    What a coincidence!

    White Ghost

  18. Belle Says:

    Jeanette,

    Don’t worry, there are more and more deaf children with CIs … the deaf community is somewhat adaptable and will accept Ellis. They already do. Especially if he has been raised with a good attitude about ASL and his deafness and his CI. True, I am somewhat skeptical; I am waiting for the current crop of really young CIs to grow up before I can see if it is worth it. I certainly can see how doing CIs is an attempt to give the child every possible advantage. Ellis will always have choices.

    O.K., I do not speak for the deaf community, only from my experience within it.

  19. drmzz Says:

    Very cool. Thanks for sharing. Nice vlog!

  20. LaRonda Says:

    It’s an awakening when parents of deaf babies realize that the journey into deafhood is one they too will need to walk along with their child. Having a deaf child requires that a parent change and grow along with that baby. Some parents feel it is easier to try to fix the child than to join the child on that amazing journey. Jeanette and her husband are examples of a heroic parents who realize they too must grow. The journey of a thousand miles begins with one small step. That step is learning ASL.

    ~ LaRonda

  21. cnkatz Says:

    Amy and Jeanette,

    This is a moment in the annals of deaf history. I want to congratulate you both for publicly acknowleding that you wanted “both” for their children by implanting ASL/DC and wires into your precious deaf children. Thats how I ended my song, For the Deaf Child, amid the “greatest irony” protest - “love your enemy”, for our Deaf Children first, the rest second.

    The Minds of the parents “receiving” deaf babies from God/dess is the Battleground where the deaf adults will forge a “war” on. Fight against the slumbering giant of the media. Yes, scores of parents started raising children following the ideology Bell had wrought . . . AGBAD, JTC and others are softening up. Deaf people have a long uphill road in “educating” the public (parents) standing tall signing, like you Amy with hearing parent, like you Jeannete.

    We should walk around in circles in the airport complex next summer at Milwaukee. We should try and present papers during the conference. It will be an interesting time in front of ALL of us.

    I congratulate you both from my heart vibrating with signs.

  22. Nick Vera Says:

    Shawn,

    You mentioned that some parents of deaf children are not able to attend ASL classes due to financial difficulties or focus on other priorities on their lives. To my ponder, there are possiblities where the mainstream program or residentials offer free ASL classes. Another alternative, perhaps one or two ASL tutors can visit one parents to teach at one or two hours per week to build up all categories and in order to faciliate the communication between deaf child and parents. That will increase their child’s self-esteem and take them to any deaf events one weekend in each month or summer camps. There are plenty of options to do for deaf child to seek for more opportunities.
    You could do some research to see if there are ASL classes where they offer free or provide scholarships for low-income families.
    There are a good example of Rochester School for the Deaf where they help hearing parents of deaf child. Visit their website: http://www.rsdeaf.org/parents.asp
    The most important thing is to have a key to open the doors for early deaf babies to learn ASL.
    Hope it helps you.

    Nick

  23. Karyn Says:

    That’s unconditional love. :)

  24. Virginia L. Beach Says:

    Am I the only person who always seems to have problems watching any of the QuickTime videos on this vlog site?

    I’m sorry, Amy…but I have never been able to get any of your videos to open for me on your site. I’ve upgraded QuickTime and tried whatever I know to try and make it work…no luck.

    Anyone have any ideas or any suggestions? This is becoming quite frustrating…

  25. ASL Risen Says:

    Hallo Nick!

    I just am done with my billings and check my account from PC…

    There’s one hour per week night program for 6 weeks for free here in Special School District but I have not gone there for almost 6 years. I was busy full time working mother.

    Thank you so much for your suggestion and good example about Rochester School for the Deaf.. When I will have time, I will ask the special district and Missouri School for the Deaf to put up on their website for the parents to know where they will go for free program. Thanks. Shawn

  26. Jeannette Says:

    Wow, I’m getting to this midafternoon and am overwhelmed by the kindness from you all. It is really fun and encouraging to be able to have this dialogue.

    I have a couple of thoughts:
    * Richard suggested a brochure to give to pregnant women. “Title the brochure, ‘In Case Your Baby Is Deaf’.” You know, if i had been pregnant, I probably wouldn’t have thought that this kind of brochure was anything I really would’ve needed. Deafness was so outside the realm of possibility for me. What would be more appropriate is to have a brochure in the pile of papers the audiologist gives you upon Diagnosis, like “So you’re Baby is Deaf” kind of thing.

    * ‘“Ellis Island” is a symbol of the freedom in honor of the statue of liberty.’
    You know, I never thought of that! :) Ellis is actually named for Ellis Marsalis, the New Orleans jazz musician. We were living in New Orleans while I was pregnant.

    * “It’s an awakening when parents of deaf babies realize that the journey into deafhood is one they too will need to walk along with their child. ”
    You know, that’s so true. When I learned that so many children feel alienated with their hearing families, then go to school and find a new deaf “family” in the community, I knew that if we wanted to keep our family close, we would have to take the journey with our son.

    That’s all for now. Thanks again for the kind works. ;-)

  27. Jeannette Says:

    One more thing:
    We’ve taken ASL classes for free at the Pennsylvania School for the Deaf, which is about 20 mins from our house. PSD has given us many wonderful opportunities, and we wouldn’t be where we are today without them. We LOVE PSD! :)

  28. Nick Vera Says:

    Jeannette:

    That’s great to know that you both attend ASL Classes lately and PSD offers you all with great opportunities to interact with other peers for your son. Outside PSD, there are more deaf events like deaf awareness day at Hershey Park or Great Adventures in New Jersey, field trips, summer camps (Camp Mark 7 in Adirondack mountains (very beautiful location), Lion Wilderness, and more) also Deaf Timberfest in Maryland and Oregon.
    I certainly hope you all enjoy together between deaf and hearing world through sign language communication.

    Nick

  29. Jana Says:

    Jeannette
    Please be assured you’re a fine parent to Ellis.. knowing bilingual. Your signing skills will get better. Remember you and Ellis grow and learn .. part of learning process. Do know my parents did not sign as good as you are now. Ellis will appreciate this when he gets older. Do this for Ellis.. be open and embrace to find what is best for Ellis. You will be a good role model to all the hearing parents of deaf children. Ellis is very blessed to have a mom like you..I wish you and Ellis the very best and I support you, Jeannette.

  30. DE Says:

    Jeannette & Amy,

    Thanks for doing this. This is very important. You both are showing the way where parents and the Deaf community works together.

    DE

  31. B.A.D. Says:

    Same here - can’t see Vlog - can’t comment from the script, wanna see the Vlog first before I decide to comment - Thanks.

  32. Barb DiGi Says:

    Jeanette and Amy,

    You both have set up an example on working together in the Deaf community for the sake of Ellis. Bravo!

    Jeanette, I can see that you are a caring parent wanting to make sure that communication is accessible where your child is able to enjoy full access with both languages. I think it will be helpful for other parents with CI children to listen to your experiences and since they have been listening to the “other” side that they are not receiving the whole package of raising a deaf child.

    I understand your concerns about your son not being accepted by deaf community but I feel that today this stigma is not severely attached as it used to be. History showed the same for those who wore hearing aids got rejected but this was no longer the case so I believe it goes the same for those who have CI. I have made friends with parents of CI children and I have not seen any rejection by any deaf kids in my school. My children, for example, never said anything like eew I don’t like this kid because of him wearing CI. They only focus on WHO they are not WHAT they are.

    Right now, what it matters is that every deaf child (with CI or not) is entitled to be exposed to ASL and Deaf adults/peers where they are able to comprehend both languages and both cultures. Allow every child to explore in this Deaf world so that they will always know that they are not alone.

    Jeanette, I am impressed with your signing skills! Keep it up!

    Hands waving to you both!

  33. MBB Says:

    HANDS WAVING for this post!!! As a profound Deaf parent, my daughter has CI since Feb. She is D*E*A*F child (period). We had healthy discussions, and meetings at the hospital with her (at age 4 half). She expressed her strong wish to hear more. She has some hearing in one ear. She benefits from hearing aid. But she wanted to hear from other ear - CI is only option for that ear. When she saw the CI model on the table, her eyes lightened up - she giggled and had a big smile! She put it on her ear and was surprised that the magnet didnt stick on her head. Surgery was explained - naturally, she demonstrated appropriate feelings. When she was in the recovery room, she woke up and told me that she is not hearing yet!!! She was very excited for the activation. When she heard for the 1st time, her eyes glowed with intense joy. I didn’t bring camera or videocamera at all. Bummer!

    I do feel you anxiety and fear with the Deaf community. I did get some ugly remarks from my peers - of course, I felt hurt. What can I do with those deaf people who are strongly against CI? Ignore them, overlook them? Educate them?

    It’s totally new & awkward for me, espeically as a “D”eaf person (Deaf school, Gally, worked at Deaf schools, Deaf life).

    You are fortuante for being able to help Eli with his auditory/speech skills while I am not fortunate - I cannot hear or speak at all. This area is a struggle for me.. I feel guilty! I am fortunate for being able to help my daugther acquiring ASL, literacy skills, and Deaf world. Double-edge sword life we both have, however our children will be just FINE with our love!

    I will be just fine if my daughter mastered little in speech/auditory ~ just for the environment sounds. Or, she may do more than I expect. The point here, I am doing my best to give her fullest life as possible - She loves making sounds, listening to sounds, dancing to music, and many more. She is also very vocal child - she hums at all times! With her behavior and love for the sound, I’m confident that I did make the right decision for her having the CI. Her world and my world are not exactly same. And, yet we are in same Deaf world ~ ASL & Deaf culture.

    6 months now - I find the Deaf community more relaxed toward the ‘CI on my daughter’ now. They are curious - asking me questions. They appear to be more acceptable of my decision. After my explantions, they appear to be approving my decision.
    Also, I often find it interesting that they even asked if I will do the CI on my other Deaf children. My other children will not get CI at all since they don’t have any desire to hear.

    Once again, I want to say thousand thanks for this post!!

  34. Jon Says:

    Response in Video (ASL)

  35. concerned Says:

    Amy C. E.,

    Since you’re a member of the DeafRead team, I’m bringing this to your attention in the hope that you will bring it to the team. This is the second time I’ve seen a hearing parent say their blog ended up on DeafRead without their permission in the space of a few weeks. First Amy of cochlearimplant.net and now Jeannette, as mentioned in this entry.

    This needs to be nipped in the bud to prevent problems/complaints.

    I submitted a blog to DeafRead months ago and it got added without any confirmation email, even though it said they would email me to confirm that this blog was mine and I had permission. I suspect that this is where the problem lies.

    Maybe DeafRead needs to be more careful and start leaving comments or emailing the address that some people have on their blogs/webpages, especially for hearing parents. This can be time-consuming, I realize, but it may now be necessary, since one of two things is happening: 1. DeafRead is not sending confirmation emails at all or not to all blogs, or 2. People are falsely adding blogs by putting their own email addresses on the form and claiming the blog as theirs.

    This may be a pain, but maybe DeafRead needs to contact all blog owners to ensure they are aware and want their blog syndicated in this manner.

    Thanks for listening, and hopefully, for taking action. :)

  36. Jean Boutcher Says:

    Jeannette,

    You are a rara avis! Would that we had received more messages like yours! I know that your son, Ellis, will grow up as a well-balancedly cultured man — rather than as a man living in the world of half-darkness and half-light! It is sad that, in general, hearing Americans are either monolingual or semi-monolingual. More and more deaf Americans beat them by becoming bilingual. (Most Europeans, however hearing or deaf, are trilingual or multilingual.) Merci beaucoup, Amy!

  37. White Ghost Says:

    Concerned –

    There must NOT be the same blog. Must be misunderstanding. I do not think that Amy’s blog provides the email addresses. Actually, Amy Cohen Efron does not belong to “other” Amy of cochlearimplant.net.

    Amy –

    Will you please make the clarification for us? I do not understand what Concerned’s explanation.

    White Ghost

  38. abcohende Says:

    Concerned,

    I read your comment, and I referred this concerns you have to DeafRead Team.

    First of all, Jeannette and I had a conversation before writing this blog, and we both agreed that this conversation we had together needs to shared to the audience. She gave me permission to post this.

    Secondly, DeafRead has a column on the front page that allows you to contact us, you can click one of the editors’ name and it’ll take you to the email page where you can leave comments there. Please use that feature.

    My blog is my own, and this blog is not DeafRead’s,and I know that I am one of the human editors, and I try to keep my roles separate. This is Amy Cohen Efron on my blog, as my own person.

    Thank you for your concerns, and it’ll be followed up.

    Amy Cohen Efron

  39. White Ghost Says:

    Thanks! I understand very clearly, Amy! :-)

    White Ghost

  40. C Says:

    This is exactly it. It doesn’t matter if a parent choose CI or other modes as long as ASL is involved, it makes so much for a richer life. I’m amazed at you (Jeannette) and your family for being brave and thinking of what’s really in the best interest of your son. I was also impressed at the level of signing too considering that it’s only been a few years. I can guarantee you that most deaf people will accept your son, you and yours. If there are any that does not, it’s because of ignorance. Ignorance is the reason why people are stubborn (most of the time). Thanks to you both (Amy and Jeanette) for sharing this with us all.

  41. Jean Boutcher Says:

    To “Concerned”:
    I think you may confuse “Amy, a hearing mother of two CI sons” with “Amy Cohen-Efron.” The difference between them is that the hearing Amy was a commenter in Cy’s and Barb’s vlogs whereas Amy Cohen-Efron is a deaf vlogger who has no CI child. I hope this may be of help.

  42. MishkaZena Says:

    Jeanette, I am so glad that you are able to see the benefits of having your baby signing even though he has a C.I later. The total access of communication, using eyes and ears, is very important and it helps with language acquisition dramatically. I would love to talk with you more. Amy can give you my e mail addy

  43. Deaf Farmer Says:

    Thanks for sharing with us!

    Hands waving!

  44. me Says:

    Jean,

    You’re confused. Concerned wasn’t confusing the two Amys at all. Thanks for trying to help, though.

  45. Rob Walker Says:

    Jeanette

    Bravo! It take courage and strength of character to come forth as you did, to display your fears (and accomplishments) with yourself and your son, E. As you already know, its relatively ‘rare’ for hearing parents to even attempt learning ASL - and if you think it’s like this today, try living in the era my parents lived in. :) It always warms my heart to see a parent’s unconditional acceptance of their deaf child via their usage of language. I know you will spread the word among your peers in the hearing world. Keep it up! We have fought this for so long.

    Cheers!

    RFW

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